What Do Arabs Want?
by Walter James O’Brien
November 26, 2002

It is time to cut through the media’s shimmering wall of soap and pantyhose
advertisements to review the key issue surrounding the current troubles of
the Middle East. Motivations, who claims what, which slights are to be
avenged, whose property and lives are to be expropriated by which state, all
seem secondary to the main issue: What do the Arabs want?

As plainly as I can discern, and by their own open admission in their mosques
and in their press, the following non-negotiable items are on their agenda.
All the items listed below I have read in so many words at one or another
Arab website, so sue me; I am sick of working. And, please, correct me if I
have missed any of their straightfaced demands:

* Kill all the male Jews on the planet, and enslave all their women;
* Destroy by whatever means available the evil and malevolent Western
civilization and substitute for it something more progressive and appealing,
such as the luxuriously limitless and cutthroat slums of Karachi, where the
primary entertainment available to the public will be the stadium beheading
of housewives for showing an ankle or using lipstick;
* Eliminate all figurative art, public performance of music, and any and all
“Jewish” literature, which I take to mean any collection of words on the
printed page using an alphabet other than Arabic;
* Exterminate any and all labor organizations and unions in manufacturing and
production facilities, substituting the ultimate management-versus-labor
mechanism of the “dhimmi” slave chained to the floor working for the
“sheikh” master;
* Destroy the democratic governments of the world and substitute them with
enlightened and joyous caliphates. You know, something similar to those
existing Moslem regimes, praised by their citizens to such an extent that
fully two million Muslims a year desperately pound on the doors of democratic
governments’ embassies to escape from such corrupt and predatory regimes;
* Oh, I nearly forgot! Also, Christianity and all other infidel faiths must
be annihilated, and their churches converted into mosques, as it is as likely
Mohammed visited the Cathedral of St. John the Divine in New York City as he
is likely to have visited Jerusalem, by teleportation, pogo stick or garbage

How impolite of me to repeat in open, unedited form what all of Islamic media
is screaming daily. Are you not overwhelmed by a vision of beauty and peace
as it unfolds before your mind's eye, as we contemplate the prospect of a
universal Islamic social and economic reality? One can hardly remain coherent
in anticipation of the benefits to the individual that will immediately
accrue upon forcible conversion of all of civilization to Islam. Personally,
I am ecstatic at the very prospect. Perhaps the West should emulate Islam’s
past behavior toward Christian and Jewish minorities in their own countries -
to show our true gratitude for all the kind words they have bestowed upon us.

Does the aforementioned mockery constitute a hate crime, please? Am I
therefore a thought criminal?

I respectfully submit that the foregoing is not one-tenth as venomous or
malicious as that which appears each and every day, by the thousands of
column inches, directed at the West, without cause or reason by the august
members of the Arab press. If one thinks otherwise, one need only consult
their Internet websites. I am underwhelmed by the extent to which Islam
reciprocates our tolerance of their intolerance.

So, what do Arabs truly want? Obviously, no friends, supreme command of the
earth, all the money, the right to bully whom they choose, and the desire to
die horrible deaths, in this life and the next. Alas, I fear the world will
only oblige with the satisfaction of the first and last listed wants.
However, starting around, oh, February 2003 or so, the decision will be made
on the battlefield as to whose G-d is Lord.
Walter James O’Brien writes from Everett, Washington.
Copyright 2002 Walter James O’Brien 

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