There are self feeding cycles that lead to unhappiness but we can create self feeding cycles that lead to happiness as well. If we are unhappy because we are not being promoted at our job, the unhappiness and anger that we feel may make us less liked at the job and less likely to get a promotion. That in turn could lead us to feel more angry and unhappy and create a self feeding cycle. We can tell ourselves that if we are happier and friendly we will be more likely to get a promotion and create a positive cycle instead. One can enter a vicious cycle in which social failure leads to low self esteem more anxiety and more social failure. One can try and create a positive self feeding cycle by telling oneself "If I improve my mood and have a positive outlook people are more likely to like me". If we are unhappy because we are rejected by the opposite sex that unhappiness leads to are becoming less attractive to the opposite sex and creates a self feeding cycle leading to rejection and unhappiness. We can tell ourselves however, that if we are happier we will become more attractive to other people and that in turn will help us become happier and create a self feeding cycle toward happiness. Telling ourselves this will help us be optimistic and help us create a positive cycle to happiness. Improving our social skills will also help. Interpersonal therapy which focuses on improving social skills has been shown to be a successful therapy for treating depression. Ways to improve social skills is discussed on the social skills page.
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