We are judged by our peers and when we are unlucky by a judge in a court room, but most of our lives we are being judged by a judge who constantly controls our self esteem and happiness. That judge is ourselves. Sometimes people judge themselves in a negative way in order to motivate themselves to do better. Negative judgements become like a self motivating whip. This is discussed in the web page about self talk.
It can be helpful to ask oneself what negative judgements do I make about myself. I remember a pole vaulter who used to curse himself when he couldn't make it over the bar. This may have been partly as a way to motivate himself. He was making himself unhappy. When I judge myself in a negative way it's usually because I did not spend time doing something that I wanted to do. I become angry at myself. I feel I have to be angry at myself to get myself to do it. The best thing to do in these situations is to make a plan of action to achieve one's goals and then to judge oneself in a positive way for carrying them out. If one is not carrying them out and there is a good reason then one has to decide not to judge oneself in a negative way for not carrying them out.
A little bit of self praise can go a long way to making oneself happier. Such self praise could be for little accomplishments during the day or simply telling oneself I'm proud of you.
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