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   We are judged by our peers and when we are unlucky by a  judge in a court room, but most of our lives we are being judged by a judge who constantly controls our self esteem and happiness.  That judge is ourselves.   Sometimes people judge themselves in a negative way in order to motivate themselves to do better.  Negative judgements become like a self motivating whip.  This is discussed in the web page about self talk

    It can be helpful to ask oneself what negative judgements do I make about myself.  I remember a pole vaulter who used to curse himself when he couldn't make it over the bar.  This may have been partly as a way to motivate himself.  He was making himself unhappy.  When I judge myself in a negative way it's usually because I did not spend time doing something that I wanted to do.  I become angry at myself.  I feel I have to be angry at myself to get myself to do it.  The best thing to do in these situations is to make a plan of action to achieve one's goals and then to judge oneself in a positive way for carrying them out.  If one is not carrying them out and there is a good reason then one has to decide not to judge oneself in a negative way for not carrying them out.

    A little bit of self praise can go a long way to making oneself happier.  Such self praise could be for little accomplishments during the day or simply telling oneself I'm proud of you. 



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