Advice of a Self Confessed Slut
"I met all sorts of New York girls when I first moved here. They all worked in design. They dressed really well. They had income. And they spent it on themselves.
I was intimidated by them and wanted to be like them so badly. But when it came to men, they were all completely befuddled. I mean, just hours of sitting around being like, “What do you think he meant by that?” I couldn’t believe it. I felt this was my one area of strength. I thought, “Just call him! Ask him what’s going on! What are you doing?”...
It’s funny, all the clichés in life are true. I don’t care what nontraditional path you take, you will end up with someone where you’re like, “We got together because we have the same values.”
And now that I look back at my hypersexual past, I realize I’ve learned a lot. First of all, forget bad boys. I like people who are warm — who can smile genuinely, and it doesn’t make their face look weird.
I can recognize intimacy — a great sense of touch, and eye contact is very important. I’ve learned about chemistry, too. Sometimes you go, “I don’t even know why I like this person, but I’m so attracted to them.” You don’t have a lot to talk about, but you feel something crazy in the bedroom. Overall just connection — it’s a very ethereal thing.
Ultimately, my story reminds me of a “Lords of the Rings” quote: “Not all who wander are lost.” I wouldn’t recommend anyone sleep around, the same way I’d never say, “Go out and get drunk.”
But I do think it’s OK to find out what you like. Maybe some people know what they like right away. But my path was trial-and-error — and, boy, did it pay off."
My only point about this is she might have gotten pregnant with one of the "bad" boys in which case all she might have a different attitude about trial and error.