It doesn't matter what you do in the bedroom
as long as you don't do it in the street and scare the horses.
Mrs. Patrick Campbell, a Victorian-era actress and a friend of George Bernard Shaw
This is an amazing quote from someone from the Victorian era, an era that frowned on improper behavior. I used to live in a group house and had trouble getting along with the other people living there. One time they were all angry at me and the one girl who stood up for me was a lesbian. Since then I don't judge people based on their sexual orientation but by whether or not they are nice people or not.
Sex Before Marriage:
Many people feel pressured to have sex in order to keep their partner. Some believe it will persuade their partner to marry them. The London's Sunday Mirror on 6/24/01 tells a story where the opposite was the case. They wrote how Brad Pitt had to wait an astounding nine months before bedding his bride-to-be Jennifer Aniston. The stunning "Friends" star kept saying no to her hunky boyfriend because she was afraid that early sex might spoil their romance. "It was the wisest thing Jennifer could have done. Imagine telling Brad Pitt to wait for sex," a pal of the actor told London's Sunday Mirror. "It had never happened - at least not in his recent lifetime." Jennifer and Brad finally made love during a romantic weekend in the steamy Mexican resort of Acapulco on Valentine's Day 1999, the paper reported.
We all are familiar with romantic stories in love blossoms between members of the opposite sex but much less attention is given to the sexual barrier that prevents friendships from developing between members of the opposite sex. Women are often unfriendly to men they are unattracted to because they want to spend their time with men who they are attracted to. When all my romantic relationships ended the women completely broke off contact with me. They didn't remain friends. This is another example of a barrier that sex creates. I think the more intense and passionate a relationship is, the less likely that it will become a friendship when it is over. If a woman wants to move on to another man her feelings toward her previous man can only get in the way. After one woman who I was in love with broke off her relationship with me, a male acquaintance told me, if you want a friend get a dog. Unfortunately there is a lot of truth to that statement. There is no sexual barrier between a man and his dog. There is just unconditional love.
I've heard stories of men who make sexual demands on their girlfriends and who blame them when they don't perform. These men are likely to get less sex that way and the love and the beauty of the sex they do get will vanish.
I used to date a woman who's ex used to blame her for being frigid. I have been warm and loving to her and she has blossomed. She has told me that after me there will be nobody else. We're now married.
I have often had friends who are women, complain to me about aggressive sexual male behavior toward them. They often interpret it to mean that the man doesn't respect them and doesn't care for them and that he just wants to use them for sex. The man may simply be very attracted to them and anxious to have sex. It may be that they should take his sexual desire as a compliment. I think the real test of a man is how he reacts when he is told that he is moving too fast. A woman can say that in a nice way such as let's get to know each other better before we get so intimate. If he backs off and apologizes and remains friendly then his sexual aggressiveness was probably without bad intentions. If he doesn't listen when told to back off then he is bad. If he stops the relationship altogether than he was only interested in sex or he was offended by rejection when told to back off, both of which are signs he would not make a good boyfriend.
The Secret to Great Sex:
Sex is one of the most beautiful gifts of life. It creates love, desire, passion, and longing for another human being. One of the secrets to great sex is loving the other person. The secret is not so much how you touch the other person but how you feel when she touches you and that depends on how you feel about her.
In the song On the Street Where You Live, from My Fair Lady, Freddy sings about what it's like just being on the street where his love lives. An excerpt of the lyrics of this song is given below.
I have often walked
Are there lilac trees
in the heart of town?
Can you hear a lark in any other part of town?
Does enchantment pour
Out of ev'ry door?
No, it's just on the street where you live!
The towering feeling
Just to know somehow you are near.
The overpowering feeling
That any second you may suddenly appear!
Self Help Home Page
Social Skills Home Page
c o p y r i g h t ( c ) 1 9 9 9 - 2004 Karl Ericson Enterprises. All rights reserved
Table of Contents