Meeting Other People of the Opposite Sex

   One of the standard way to meet someone of the opposite sex is to go to a singles party. If you're very attractive it's easy to walk away with a date.  What many people notice when they go is how hard it is to meet someone at such an event.  The argument I have heard for going anyway is "You never know when you might meet someone and I'm not going to meet someone staying at home." 

    Why is is so hard to meet someone at a dance party?  A friend of mine gave me her reason for giving men the cold shoulder.  She says she doesn't want to lead them on.  She says there's a lot of pressure at these things because everyone goes there to meet a date.  You can't just be friendly to someone because they'll interpret that to mean that you are interested in them.   How does she decide who she is interested in?  It can't be through intelligent conversation.  At many of these parties there's a lot of noise and it's hard to hold a conversation.  It's also hard to get to know someone in the short time that a party is going on.  I think that many women and men decide who to talk to based on how beautiful they look and other factors and give everyone else the cold shoulder.  I have been in situations where there was a beautiful girl at a party that I wanted to talk to and an ordinary looking girl was talking to me and keeping me away from the beautiful girl.   At occasions like this there is a lot of incentive to avoid conversations with ordinary looking people.

    If you don't happen to be a celebrity or a beauty than a loud dance party is probably not the best way to meet quality people.  The music is usually too loud for people to talk to each other anyway.  Even if quality people are there you won't know because you won't get to talk to them.

    I went on a singles ski trip with the woman who made the comments about not leading men on and she gave me a ride to the ski slopes.  This gave me an opportunity to get to know her as a friend.  I now am a lot more interested in her as a girlfriend than I would have been by just looking at her appearance.  There can be a lot of beauty in people that you don't see by looking at their appearance.  Since I was relating to her on a friendship level she didn't have to put up barriers to me in order to not lead me on. 

   In my experience there have been a couple of places where I have been able to meet people.  One is organized singles events.  I joined a choral and dated a girl I met there.  I met girls sometimes when I sat next to them on trains and on buses during my commute to work.  I don't sit next to someone unless the train is crowded enough to justify doing so.  I would never sit next to a strange girl in an empty train because I would be afraid to make her uncomfortable.  One of the problems when sitting next to a member of the opposite sex on the train or bus is starting a conversation with them.  If's important to not sound like you're trying to date them even if you are.  I would never sit down next to a strange girl in a train and say "You are the most beautiful girl on this train".  I think she would just think I'm a wierdo trying some line on her.  It's important to talk about a neutral topic initially.

   One woman I know lived in an area where there were very few singles events.  Her solution was to organize dances.  At one of those dances she met the man she is now dating and her face lights up everytime she mentions his name.   She is now seriously involved with him and no longer organizing singles events.  


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