When a boy has never had a girlfriend there can be a fear of intimacy when he finally has the opportunity.   When I was younger I had a lot of trouble finding a girlfriend and then one day a beautiful girl went on a date with me and then wanted me to sleep with her.  I was afraid.  I felt that I was too vulnerable and that I would develop intense feelings for her and would get hurt.  I wanted to please her but couldn't.  She felt rejected and that was the end of that.  My current girlfriend doesn't look anything like she did.

    I have a friend from India who came to study in the United States.  He had never had a girlfriend before.  Then a beautiful Indian Girl took a liking to him and kept trying to get together with him.   He kept avoiding her because of his fears.  He rationalized it with statements like she was from a different branch of his religion and his parents wouldn't approve and so on.  I kept telling him to date her but he refused.  Now many years have past, he hasn't been able to find a girlfriend and he has told me that he is willing to date women with entirely different religious beliefs.


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